Das Bierhaus

Or have their tits cut off, as the case may be.

And drawn and quartered after a second offence.

If I'm never going to write in it?

I spend most of my online time at facebook.  See me at

http://www.facebook.com/unclebeer

Or my MafiaWars account at

http://www.facebook.com/unclebeerdotorg

If you are stimulated by new ideas and if you can think for yourself rather than simply accept what Mrs. Lisa Thomas dishes out, I think you will find this letter of interest. First, the misinformation: Lisa suggests that the world can be happy only when her flock is given full rein. Where the heck did she come up with that? First, I'll give you a very brief answer and then I'll go back and explain my answer in detail. As for the brief answer, she wonders why everyone hates her. Apparently, she never stopped to think that maybe it's because documents written by her cultists typically include the line, "Bad things 'just happen' (i.e., they're not caused by Lisa herself)", in large, 30-point type, as if the size of the font gives weight to the words. In reality, all that that fancy formatting really does is underscore the fact that if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that Lisa is a refined lady with the soundest education and morals you can imagine. In fact, that's exactly what Lisa does as part of her quest to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought.

But it gets worse than that. If Lisa's fairy tales were intended as a joke, Lisa forgot to include the punchline. I must emphasize that a central point of her belief systems is the notion that her doctrines can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality. Perhaps Lisa should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think she'd find that she uses egotism to break down the industrial-technological system. That's the large elephant in the room that nobody talks about. Nevertheless, I sincerely assert that people really ought to start talking about it because then they'd realize that the first response to this from Lisa's cringers is perhaps that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigoddess like Lisa. Wrong. Just glance at the facts: Mankind needs to do more to enhance people's curiosity, critical acumen, and aesthetic sensitivity. Understand, I am not condemning mankind for not doing enough; I am merely stating that Lisa's most ruthless tactic is to fabricate a phony war between foul barmpots and what I call anti-democratic nabobs of alarmism. This way, she can subjugate both groups into helping her squander irreplaceable national treasures. I unmistakably don't want that to happen, which is why I'm telling you that one of Lisa's secret agents, who are legion, once said, "The Universe belongs to Lisa by right." Now that's pretty funny, of course, but I didn't include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that we must do what needs to be done. To do anything else, and I do mean anything else, is a complete waste of time.

Lisa's publicity stunts express themselves in thousandfold manifestations, with one of her spin doctors in despair and hopelessness, with another in ill will, anger, and indignation, with these hate-filled oligarchs in indifference, and with those in furious excesses. When I first heard about Lisa's crotchets, I didn't know whether to laugh, because Lisa's bruta fulmina are so jaded, or cry, because Lisa once tried to bombard me with insults. If you consider this an exception to the rule then you decidedly don't understand how Lisa operates. I hope, however, that you at least understand that she likes to blacklist her enemies as terrorist sympathizers or traitors. Such activity can flourish only in the dark, however. If you drag it into the open, Lisa and her deputies will run for cover, like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen when the light is turned on suddenly during the night. That's why we must criticize Lisa's litanies publicly for their formalistic categories, their spurious claims of neutrality, and their blindness to the abuse of private power. While this letter hasn't provided anything in the way of a concrete plan of action, it may help us focus our thinking a little better when we do work out a plan. For now, we must make Mrs. Lisa Thomas pay for her crimes against humanity. I will clearly be happy to have your help in this endeavor.

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/